What Should Christians Consider Before Marriage?

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Categories: Article, Inspirational,

Marriage is an institution between a man and a woman, Genesis 2:24, Matthew 19:4,5, and sometimes, they are prone to mistakes, or regrets, this is usually as a result of overlooking many important things that should have been settled before the marriage.

There are many areas to consider as marriage is a lifelong commitment.

Things that are considered insignificant usually raise tension in marriage, as Christians there are things to be considered that nonbelievers will see as unnecessary.

But we must realize that it is important never to leave any stone unturned.

We will be considering some areas that Christians should consider before marriage, to have the best and agreeable marriage possible.


What Should Christians Consider Before Marriage?

Marriage is an institution inspired by the love God has for man, an unconditional kind of love. 

Many Christians wrongly build their marriage by copying the pattern in the secular world. 

Believers have a standard in marriage, there are laid out principles for us to follow in the Bible.


1. Why are you getting married?

Before getting married understand the reason you are getting married. 

Some get into marriage for wrong and dubious reasons such as to get financial support, to feel "complete ", age factor; because others are getting married. 

In picking a life partner, it is important not to feel pressured as many people do not make clear decisions under pressure. 

Go into marriage with the understanding that ultimately you two are together to glorify God.

Marriage is supposed to be a two-way complementary relationship, you are both supposed to bring virtues to the marriage.

Evaluate and improve yourself so that you will add value to your marriage, and not be a liability. 

Be the kind of person you want to be with. 


If you are a minister of the gospel, while you are in ministry you will likely meet other ministers of the gospel, and when you decide to marry one, you will both do exploits for the kingdom of God.

The reason you are getting married determines the kind of person you will choose, if you want money, greed will cloud your judgments and you will overlook obvious bad character traits. 

Humans are products of influence, when you are married to somebody they influence you, you begin to even think like them.


2. Is he or she born again?

There are guidelines for believers towards making marriage decisions, and one of them is to marry only in Christ. 

You need to be sure that the person is born again, it is not enough that he or she follows you to church, do they believe in the sacrifice of Jesus; in his death burial, and resurrection, John 3:16, Gal 3:26,  Gal 4:7.

The union is first in Christ, then marriage. Believers do not share the same father with unbelievers, because they have not believed in the sacrifice of Jesus. 

Don't marry someone to get them saved, you cannot get a person saved, it is the word of God and prayer that makes faith come alive in a person's mind, not your kindness or decision to marry the person. Ephesians 5:21-33

1 Corinthians 7:39
The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the lord.

Ephesians 5:25-27
25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; 26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, 27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.


Only a person, who has the love of God shed abroad in his or her heart can love like Christ, 'unconditionally'. Romans 5:5 

Believers should not marry just anybody, they should marry fellow believers, this is pleasing to God, believers possess the gifts of the spirit which is needed in every marriage, and by obedience, you will not give place to the devil to mess up your marriage. Ephesians 4:27, Ephesians 1:5.

2 Corinthians 6:14
Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?


1 John 3:1
See how great a love the Father has bestowed on us, that we would be called children of God; and such we are. For this reason, the world does not know us, because it did not know Him.


Unbelievers do not have the spirit of God, therefore they are not led by the spirit of God, there is no union between a believer and an unbeliever.  

The relationship was not supposed to begin, but if it has gotten to the point of engagement, it is not too late to call off. 

It is not scriptural, such marriage is only mentioned in the case where they were both unbelievers and one gets saved. 

Marry somebody with whom you will fulfill God's plan and purpose for your life. Galatians 4:6, Romans 8:14-16.


3. You Both Have To Be Going In The Same Direction

You should be with someone that you will achieve your purpose together. 

If you are ministry driven, marry somebody that is ministry oriented also, not someone that is careless about the work of the kingdom of God, this can discourage you and cause conflict between you two.

Is the person given to prayer and the word of God, merely admitting that you are a child of God is not enough, living by the word of God and prayer is a culture for believers and a lack of it should not be overlooked. 1 Thessalonians 5:17-22


4 Lifestyle 

Is he or she given to drinking? careless spending? is he or she content? How well are desires kept in check? 

It is important to marry a believer but that is not enough, a lifetime is a long time, and if you want to spend it with somebody, you should take time to consider these things because they are important.

They may appear to be small bad habits, but they cause arguments and misunderstandings in marriage. 

You must find out if there are issues like fear, anger, depression, substance addiction, given to pornography, that should be dealt with.

This is why you have to be knowledgeable in the word of God before you go into a relationship so that it will direct your path. 

When you know what to look out for, you will recognize them as red flags.

Even when you are already getting emotionally attached, you will know what is best, though the best thing to do is to leave before you become emotionally attached.

These things can affect your mental health, and the character development of your children, if you both decide to have them.


Ephesians 5:18
And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit.


5 How do you both handle misunderstandings?

Misunderstandings are not unusual, even siblings who grow up together, with similar life influences, have clashing opinions.

But when misunderstandings become major issues, whenever there is a disagreement lookout for the response, is unforgiveness a trait?. 

Note that silent treatment does not make the situation better, you have to be selfless, treat your partner how you want to be treated.


6 Responsibility and Submission

Christian marriages are inspired by the union between Christ and the church, it should truly reflect this union.

As the church submits to Christ; the head of the church, Ephesians 5:21-33, every Christian marriage should do the same.


The bible teaches that the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ is the head of the church, this means that love and submission should be a part of every Christian marriage. 

Christ loved us and gave himself for us, and we the church submit to Christ. 
Your partner must love sacrificially, and the woman you intend to marry should be submissive.

Submission starts even before the marriage, if you have a rebellious wife to be, she will be a rebellious wife if she does not renew her mind.


So many important things are usually ignored before marriage, ensure you discuss and agree, to avoid misunderstanding later in a marriage.

The number of children to have, sexual appetite, and even the city to reside in is important, and should be taken seriously.
Do not get carried away by surface details, go deep because marriage is to be well prepared for.

When a person does not understand the concept of salvation, it will be difficult to love your spouse unconditionally.

When you believe that God requires you to be good, before he is good to you, it will affect your attitude to others. 

The understanding of the unconditional love of God, makes us express love and kindness to others even amid their faults.

1 Corinthians 3:11. 
" For other foundation can no man lay than that which is laid, which is Jesus Christ.”

For believers, our foundation is a person; Christ. 

In Christ, our foundation is already laid for every aspect of our lives, including our relationships and family life, and this foundation is guaranteed.


by Edidiong Patrick Published



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