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Categories: Bible Study, Colour of Love,

No doubt the way dating is done today is different from what it used to be in the Bible times, but the truth remains the Bible's guide to having a Godly relationship is ageless. Though in recent times staying true to what the Bible teaches about relationships is becoming more and more difficult, as long as it is a laid down guideline in scriptures, it is possible for a believer.

I know you want to hear the sexual purity talk and you sure will but first of all it is noteworthy to say that you should keep in mind that Sexual Purity is not the apex of a Godly relationship. Not all sexually pure relationships are a Godly one, if it is, what do we then say of traditionalists who maintain sexual purity till marriage too? So you'd want to ask me what a Godly relationship is right? It's simply a relationship that is Christ centered. 

Marriage Should Be The Goal Of A Godly Relationship

Oh Yeah Marriage! because once marriage is out of view a passionate relationship between 2 people becomes baseless for a Christian, as you both can just remain friends instead. Marriage is the alpha purpose for relationships between two people, if you take that away, then it will mean that you both are flirting with each other, and the Bible does not support that either.

Venturing into a relationship without marriage in view is like setting a train in motion without destination. Crash will be unavoidable!! Like the saying goes "When the purpose of a thing is not known, abuse is inevitable." This is the same for relationships. Relationships without marriage in view will lead to inevitable abuses which in turn will abuse what a Godly relationship should be. SOS 3:5 says do not awaken nor stir up love till it pleases. 

This is not to say that all Godly relationships must lead to marriage, after relating for a while, if both parties realise that it's not working between them it is absolutely fine to take a bow, this is why it is important to keep limits when it comes to some level of intimacy.

A Godly Relationship Is Between Two People Of Opposite Sex

A Godly relationship is one between two people of opposite sex. OPPOSITE SEX in Capital letter. Due to the decadence in the society and the world at large, Morality is being stabbed at the very core. People justify Nudity, violence,  shamelessness, whoredom, lawlessness and no longer a surprise we now justify homosexuality. 

But, The bible outrightly speaks against this 1Cor.6.9 - 11 Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind.

When God instituted marriage in Genesis 2:24, he was very specific about Gender and as believers though we live in a world were how support same sex marriage we cannot afford to get carried away and if relationship is expected to lead to marriage then you also cannot be in a relationship with someone of the same sex, God's intent for sexual attraction is between people of opposite sex. 

Must Be Between Believers

Only believers can start and maintain a Godly relationship, a relationship between a believer and an unbeliever is an unequal yoke as described in 2 Cor 6:14. This does not permit believers to get so entangled with unbelievers, especially for a bond as strong and important to a man's life as marriage.

You can be friendly with unbelievers, of course that is necessary because you have to share the Gospel with them, but when it comes to keeping a relationship that is intended towards marriage if any party is an unbeliever that relationship cannot meet God's standard.

No matter how in love you think you may have fallen with an unbeliever that person is not worthy of being in a relationship with you until he or she is saved, this is because in the relationship and in marriage there are other things that will be required of you both and when one party is not saved, the one who is saved may have his/her heart drawn back: this was the case of king Solomon in the old testament.

Sexual Purity

Yes, to the part that most people would be expecting immediately they start reading.  Relationship or courtship as we may say is not for Intercourse of the body rather of the mind. The bible clearly states in Heb 13:4 Marriage is honorable in all and the bed undefiled (lawful sex between a husband and a wife holds no defilement): but whoremogers and adulterers God will judge. (This proclaims all sexual conduct outside of marriage to be absolutely defiled). 

You might be itching to hear: what is the boundary for sexual intimacy between people in a relationship?? Well it may be difficult to accept but the Bible clearly says that we should avoid all appearances of evil: So when you feel like hugging, smooching, kissing and doing the rest with your unmarried partner, ask yourself if someone walks into us while doing this what will be said about our faith?

If you want to be sincere you will agree that one thing leads to another, if you set kissing as your boundary the truth is it may not end there. So the best will be to avoid any form of sexual intimacy especially when you both are alone.

Many do not like it when there are a set of laid down rules but it's generally advised that whatever act you perform in your relationship let Jesus be glorified in it. Remember God has not left you to go through anything alone, you have the Holy Spirit as a guide.

Spiritual Growth Is Important

A Godly relationship should be geared towards helping each other grow spiritually, both of you are expected to pray together, study the Bible together, go for evangelism together and in general contribute to the growth of the body of Christ, this is why a believer is not expected to be unequally yoked with an unbeliever.

When you are able to build your relationship to the point where you both can do the work of the Ministry together, you will realise that both of you will be able to create a special bond that no level of sexual intimacy would have been able to create.

Final Thoughts!!!

When Adam saw his wife he said this is the bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh Gen 2:23. He didn't say she was the fairest to look upon, He just knew she was his best compliment, made with the same kind of material like he is, your partner may not be 'spec' but if he or she compliments you perfectly then that's just fine.

Relationships should be a period where ideas for your marriage success are birthed and exchanged, where 2 people grow in uniformity, synchrony and love. Where the Fabric and cornerstone of Marriage is put in place, that's how long lasting marriages can be birthed as well, as such it must be taken seriously. 


by Eunice Published



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